11 Year Anniversary of the barn fire!

July 9, 2009.  10:50 PM Barn fire called into the fire department.  It would eventually take fire crews from 30 fire departments from Berks, Chester and Montgomery counties to finally extinguish the fire as the barns burned into the morning of July 10.  I received a call at midnight from a fellow boarder, informing me about the fire and the fact that her horse and mine (Suki) were missing.  People were heading out to look for the two chestnut mares (Suki was so badly burned that she was later described as a bay by someone who saw them running across a road).  With my husband out of town and 3 year old Isaiah asleep all I could do was wait.  I could hear the sirens all around me, so I turned down the thermostat of the air conditioning to keep it running, helping to drown out the noise.  I paced, texted and called people and waited for news. 

The news was not good, when the horses were found in a field around 3 AM.  Suki was badly burned and in distress, and my first question to the veterinarian on the scene was “does she need to be put down?”  I didn’t want her to suffer.  The decision was made to send her to New Bolton, about an hour away (I am thankful to live near this amazing hospital). When I finally spoke to Dr. Kelly Kalf I asked her that same question.  She told me that Suki was severely burned but stable and being made comfortable.  Dr. Kalf advised to give her a few days to see how she progressed.  

I remembered the last time I saw Suki before the fire. It was July 9 in the afternoon. I stopped in to see her on my way home. My original plan was to ride her that day but my husband had to unexpectedly go out of town and Isaiah was home from preschool. So I gave her some treats and said “see you tomorrow my beautiful girl.”

I dropped off Isaiah at preschool and went to New Bolton.  My friend Donna went with me stating that this was not something I should do alone.  After bursting into tears in reception we were guided to ICU.  Dressed in gowns we entered the facility.  Suki was slathered in SSD and surrounded by doctors.  I will always remember this moment: I called Suki’s name and she softly nickered at the sound of my voice and I knew she was up for the fight. Suki continued to improve with only a couple of minor setbacks.  At 17.3 she was not always easy to handle but the 24 hour care and medical expertise got her through.  Horses won’t eat when they are in pain, and burn healing requires a lot of energy.  Suki’s pain management was carefully planned and adjusted as necessary.  She actually gained weight while in the hospital! (There was a scale outside her stall).  Everyone at New Bolton was so supportive, answering my questions and tolerating my visits 4 days a week!

Fast forward 11 years.  Suki is a happy, healthy 20 year young horse!  A sassy diva who can do light work and brings joy and inspiration to everyone who meets her.

SO MANY PEOPLE got us to this point: first responders, doctors, nurses, trainers, students, friends, family, strangers who became friends and supporters from near and far. Many Thanks to all of you.  

Our story continues.......

Happy 20th Birthday, Suki!!

The world has changed a lot since my last post….so I hope that all who follow Suki’s story are well, and adapting as best you can.  

First I would like to thank those of you who have sent emails checking on Suki (I promise to finish answering all of you!  I have 5 left). I haven’t even looked at Suki’s Facebook page in ages, so if anyone has posted messages, comments etc. I will take a look when I post this on FB later today. 

Overall, Suki and Nikki are doing well.  Some ups and downs for sure though! Nikki turned 12 on April 15th.  I’ve had her for 10 years. Seems like just yesterday. She is currently recovering from a pulled muscle, but otherwise fine.  Suki turns 20 today. In August we will have been together for 17 years. Yikes! Where do the years go!

Nikki went to a hunter show in February, ridden by another rider at my barn.  She had been riding her regularly for me so the show was the best next step! They did great, and Nikki was a total star, after not having been to show in quite awhile!  Nikki continued to work well. Last week she must have been playing a bit too much, or awkwardly while turned out and seems to have a bit of a pulled gluteal muscle. So she’s recovering from that, but handling it just fine.  She’s such a sweet girl. Don’t get me wrong she can definitely give a good snake face, but it’s pretty much a bluff! And she LOVES to dunk her hay. Sometimes it sounds like she’s swimming in her buckets!

Suki is happy and healthy and working lightly.  This will continue, as she really enjoys working.  I have set some goals for us to work toward and we will push a little harder on those when the restrictions for being out and about lift a bit more. My schedule is a little lighter so the goals should be manageable!

I have been using a new moisturizing product on Suki’s back for the past few months.  Aquaphor’s ointment is now available in a spray, which is lighter and works beautifully across Suki’s back!  I continue to use Olay on her face and the ointment on her neck. Every so often we notice a few patches of new hair on her back!  This is always a source of amazement for us!

And, of course Suki still loves to roll....

Playtime in the indoor!

One Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

Over the past year we have noticed new tufts of hair on Suki’s back and neck where the skin is scar tissue, and the assumption of dead hair follicles has always led us to believe that no hair would grow again. It is encouraging (and amazing!) to see this hair growth, but realistically, Suki’s back is ever going to be covered in thick hair! That’s fine. I take care of her skin as best as I can but my schedule keeps me from doing it as frequently as I should. Several months ago I started to use a new product on Suki’s skin: Aquaphor Spray Ointment. I goes on in a thin layer and keeps Suki’s skin moist for a longer period of time. I still apply Olay on her face, and regular ointment to her neck. Suki isn’t fond of the spray because it must be a bit cold as it hits her skin.

It’s a little expensive, and we use a lot, but it is by far my best option right now.
Here is some of the hair growth.

Pretty cool!

Jen has been riding Nikki and taken a couple of lessons with Karen. She really rides her well, and I am eager to get back to a regular riding schedule. Nikki is super sweet and really lovely to ride. She was a little cranky today when I did a little work in hand, but after a few minutes she became more willing and enjoyed an ear rub after!

I had planned on doing a some in hand work with Suki also, but with tack to get her back to riding. Unfortunately I was greeted by this:

The one on the left is a blood blister. Uggh!! Apparently she was doing some pretty aggressive rolling last night and even the fly sheet couldn’t protect it. That skin is delicate and gets very itchy when dry. I am going to have to make sure that I get to the barn to moisturize much more frequently. Even if it is just to spray Suki’s back and give the girls treats. I feel so terrible, because I know it is my fault. Suki, of course was not bothered by this in the least, so I cleaned it, put on a bandage and worked her in hand for a bit. I tried to remove as much of the old moisturizer as possible so the bandage would stick. While I’m not super optimistic, I am hoping that the fly sheet will help old it in place when she goes out tonight.

So a bit of a set back and something else for me to worry about, but otherwise the girls are wonderful and keep me going!

10 Years!!

Ten years. How is it possible?? I remember it like it was yesterday.....midnight and the call from Bobbi telling me that the barn where we boarded was on fire and our horses were missing. My husband out of town and 3 year old Isaiah asleep, I was left helpless while others searched for my horse. Waiting for the call seemed endless, but finally at 3 AM the call comes in: Suki had been found but was gravely injured. Bobbi and her husband transported Suki to New Bolton after leaving Bobbi’s injured horse at another farm. Her horse had minorish injuries, but after such an event you never know how that will progress....I am forever grateful for that act of kindness.

As most know by now Suki was burned over 70% of her body and her survival was questionable. But that first day in the hospital when she nickered in response to my voice I knew she was ready for the fight. It was a long process but my diva rallied. My concern was that she was not suffering and the staff managed her pain beyond anything that I thought possible. She actually gained a few pounds during her stay! Horses won’t eat if they are in pain. I visited Suki 3 days a week during her 7 week stay in ICU. I would have gone more but it is 1 1/2 hours from my house. I had a running conversation with my doctors, who were AMAZING!

The comment that sticks in my mind is one that attending veterinarian, Kelly Kalf told reporters: “She lifted her head and we never looked back”. Suki continued to improve and thrive.

I have learned many things from this experience; life is fragile, people are kind (even those who you have never met, but offer the kind of moral support that keeps you going), during a tragedy you can dig deep inside yourself and find strength, it is okay to accept heal from others. The list goes on.

Suki’s courage and strength amaze me. She has inspired people around the world and given others courage and strength. Who would have thought that a big chestnut mare in Berks County Pennsylvania would have the ability to do this?! I have always considered this a silver lining.

Originally I had thought about having a bit of a celebration today. Then I realized that the big deal is that Suki survived and thrived beating odds that were stacked squarely against her.

So many people to thank, that I would surely leave someone out accidentally! It truly took a village to get her here. Thank you everyone.

Back to the Blog

So obviously it has been quite awhile since my last post. I kept saying that I was going to start again, but got busy with work, the child and life in general. Struggling to finish my book it occurred to me that the blog has always helped with that. Yet I still did not pick it up again. Over the last few months I have had several people tell me via messenger, emails, Twitter or FaceBook posts, how Suki’s story inspired them during a time of need. Yesterday, while speaking with Liz, a rider at my barn, I was the one inspired. So here I am. Liz was telling me that she had initially been overwhelmed by Suki’s size when Jen introduced her, but her hesitation quickly evaporated due to Suki’s gentle nature. And to me, this video says it all.

So many thanks, Liz, for reminding me.


I had also suddenly began to have confidence issues with my riding. This is not easy for me to admit, but likely others suffer from this as well. There was not a specific incident that led to this. Maybe just suddenly facing my own mortality? So last year I began taking lesson on some very nice school horses and I am getting my mojo back! With my limited time I was struggling with time to work the girls regularly so Jen had been hopping on Nikki to keep her going. I would work Suki and Nikki in the round pen or lunge them or do in hand work with them.

Unfortunately, this winter extended well into April and the weather put a huge kabash on everything. So as I try to get things motoring in spite of my crazy schedule, I have asked Karen (my instructor) to help. She is going to work Nikki a few times a week (lunge, RP, etc) as we get her in shape and in a working mind set. Nikki wants to work and needs a job to keep her mind and body occupied (don’t we all!). Then the riding can begin again!

So obviously Suki has not been working so regularly either. She is pretty sound, and when she works is very light and forward. I can tell that she is thinking and focused, enjoying the work.

Most of the summer has been quite hot and at times very humid. Suki’s breathing becomes a bit labored when she works in the humid air so that has also caused a bit of a hurdle. The girls get turned out over night which they love, and that overnight turnout is evident in Nikki’s work as she seeme to be able to focus better. Last year we kept them on over night turnout well into late autumn, all bundled up on the colder nights. But they do love it! The girls seem much happier when they are able to have longer turnout time.

Due to concerns regarding the skin on Suki’s back she is always turned out in some type of clothing. But with the hot, humid conditions she was going out naked. Of course, last week she did a big roll and has a large abrasion across the top of her back (surcingle and saddle will not be worn in the near future!) Back to bandaging as we have done in the past. It seems to be healing well and the bandage protects it from further damage. The girls had to stay in for a few nights, but last night they were put out very late enabling Suki to wear her fly sheet. Success! When I went out today it was evident that she had rolled but the bandage was intact. I will leave it in place for a few days and moisturize around the bandage for now. Always something.....but I can’t imagine my life without them!

Suki and Nikki Settling Well at the New Barn

It has been a difficult month since we lost Ripley.  The house is so empty.  I work from home, and though Cecil and Bentley (our cats) are always nearby, Ripley's absence is palpable.  I am so used to turning around to look at him sleeping in his bed behind me.  When I go outside to put out bird seed, bring in the trash can, etc Ripley always joins me.  Bentley has been sleeping in Ripley's bed every day, so I can tell that he misses his friend.  They would often run to the door together to greet us when we arrived home. Ripley had a long, happy life and we were lucky to have him in our family.  It is always so hard to lose our pet children, but they complete our families, fill our hearts and make the world a better place just by being here.

During this time I have moved Suki and Nikki to a different barn.  It is a little further from my home, but with an indoor arena we will not have to stop training all winter as we have been forced to do the past two winters.  There is also  lovely outdoor arena and a round pen.  The care is excellent, and Jen (barn manager, her family owns the farm) was one of the vet techs that treated Suki she was at New Bolton.  So I know the girls are in capable hands!  Moving is always a bit of an adjustment, but they have settled in nicely and are being exposed to all kinds of new things!

I need to have  bit of work done on my trailer so I asked Janet at the barn to transport the girls.  I also enlisted the help of Louise, since as many of you know, Suki has not been the best at loading onto a trailer in the past few years.  I was less worried about Nikki because the last few times she has walked right in with little hesitation.  My plan was to give them both a little acepromazine to "take the edge off" for loading.  Louise brought a friend with her (always good to have additional troops!).  Jackie said that she would be willing to load Suki because without any history she thought she could get her to walk right on.  I was all for it since I knew I might anticipate that she might NOT walk right on!  Another boarder was hand grazing her horse near the barn, so I asked her if she could move more toward the arena since Suki can be difficult to load and I wanted as few distractions as possible.  It was not a boarder that I knew well, and she seemed annoyed by my request.  REALLY?  I mean I asked nicely.  She did move though.  The plan was to start with Suki, because as with other things that the diva finds not to her liking, if he anticipates that something is going on, she becomes difficult.  I was sent to the tack room to wait.  From there I heard a "thud, thud, thud, thud".  She did NOT walk right on?!  Well, she did, but came back out.  After a bit of time had passed I heard the thudding again.  It was Nikki.  They changed gears, and decided to put Nikki on first.  She pretty much walked right in.  Suki was still being difficult so I joined in the fun.  Suki does not respond well to some of the traditional methods of persuasion, like a lunge line behind her butt….she panics.  Ultimately we boxed her in and I tapped her with a broom, Jackie led her, Janet was in the trailer with grain, and Louise guided her from the other side by lifting each foot.  THEN she walked on.  No nervousness, didn't try to back out again….just walked on quietly.  This is her game.  She never seems upset, just doesn't want to do it!!  Then she gets bored with the game and walks on.  We will be working on loading so that she can begin attending events, like summer camps for burn survivors, shows and hopefully book signings!

When we arrived at the new barn Suki and Nikki calmly walked off the trailer and into the barn.
Since then they have settled in nicely, adjusting to the more lively atmosphere of this barn.  There was not a lot of activity at our previous barn, so often when the horses were in they would likely not see anyone for many hours.  Here, there are more people riding, midday change of turnout for some horses, water checked, etc.  So even if the girls are in they see a lot!  When they come back to their stalls in the late afternoon there are usually people riding or grooming….always something to see.

Suki and Nikki were a bit nervous in the wash stall initially, as they had not been in one for quite awhile.  But they got used to it pretty quickly.  Sometimes they push forward on the cross ties to watch a horse in the indoor or perhaps to try touch to another horse as they pass by.  They are getting used to the dogs as well.  It is so good for them as I can see now just how sheltered they were!  They saw tractors, and sometimes other people but not often enough.

I have been working Suki and Nikki in the indoor, and while they had been a bit nervous at first, they are doing great now!  When there are noises and activities outside they react, but quickly come back to focus, and have eased into not reacting much at all.  I love this barn!  Everyone that I have met is really nice and while we may ride in different disciplines, there is sensibility.  I won't elaborate on that comment.

I boarded at the other barn for 5 years and it worked for awhile (obviously!).  But because it isn't really full service I often had to go twice a day if a sheet or blanket needed to be pulled off or changed due to temperature fluctuations.  I won't anything bad to say about that farm.  Different barns offer different services, etc.  And that is fine.  I just needed something more.  And an indoor.  In fact, I wasn't even going to say that much, but then I heard that rumors were being spread that I had already left my new barn.  That made me angry.  I am loving my new barn and though it is further away, I don't have to go every day and especially not twice a day.  That is a tremendous relief and enables me to focus on other things as well as my horses and riding!

Okay, I also love that Fito leads Suki and Nikki to and from the pasture together!  They walk so calmly with him. So funny.  I love it!  When I have Suki out of her stall Nikki calls to her then calls REALLY loud as I am walking her back down the aisle.  Suki calls to Nikki once after we leave then again on the way back.  I have noticed that Nikki doesn't bang her stall the way she used to.  Perhaps she does at feeding time, but since they are just outside the feed room They are the first stop for the feed cart.

The area in which I live has been experiencing some crazy temperature fluctuations.  We have had a killing frost, a few snow flakes and temperatures in the 70sF!  So yes, we are back to the blanket dance!  I love the cold weather but I must admit, that early killing frost got the last of our local corn.  Fisher's has the most AMAZING sweet corn!  They plant in such a way that we typically have fresh corn (picked that day) well into October.  But not if we have a killing frost.  I do have some in the freezer though!

Suki and Nikki had a bit of an experience with wild turkeys last week.  Apparently when they first saw the turkeys they were afraid and ran around their pasture.  Then the turkeys decided to take a stroll down the driveway which borders the girls' pasture, so Suki and Nikki followed them down the fence line next to the driveway.  But THEN those big birds took flight, sending the girls into a tizzy again!  So funny.  I have had one other experience with a wild turkey, while riding Jenny in a field a number of years ago.  We were just walking quietly along in tall grass (Jenny hated to hack, so having her out and somewhat relaxed was quite an accomplishment!) when we startled a turkey who quickly took flight.  As they are not graceful when they take off, and quite noisy, I found myself back at the barn, feeling Jenny's heartbeat against my legs!  Needless to say I was not able to get her back out into that field.  We made some progress when I was able to get her out along the dirt road!

The next challenge for Suki and Nikki was to cross the stream in their pasture.  Each morning when they are turned out they walk down to the stream to take a drink.  Until last week they had yet to cross it.  Then I received a text from Jen that they were on the other side of the stream!  The big question remained: would they cross back on their own!  They did, with Suki splashing through and Nikki jumping it.  Now they cross the stream regularly.

A few weeks ago it was time for fall vaccinations.  Nikki is always great about these things.  Suki…well, she gets a bit worried.  Jen H is well aware of how difficult Suki can be about medical treatments, but Suki has really improved about everything but new barn, new vet, who knows?  i explained the best way to do it for minimum worry.  She was fine.  Yay!

The girls were also great for the farrier.  It was the farrier who has been doing their feet for several years, but of course I was concerned that they would be nervous in the cross ties.  They were both perfectly behaved.  It is always nice to get a positive report!

The best news is that the wound on Suki's back has completely healed so it is back to wearing a surcingle to make sure it is okay, then saddle and riding her again.  She was great about the bandage which managed to stay on in spite of rolling.  That allowed me to only have to change it every couple of days.  The last week that she was wearing it I was not applying any ointment to the area.  It was simply for padding.  Some people have chastised me in the past for using a bandage for extra padding, but it is the best way to protect such an area when you have a horse that revels in the joys of rolling.  I stopped padding it last week and even with rolling (Suki has been wearing clothing even on warm days(just a fly sheet and only when she was outside)) it looks great.  Back in business!

Yesterday we tried a little experiment with painting.  Well, with Suki painting.  Suki is going to be doing hoof print paintings.  Armed with non-toxic, water-based acrylic paints and canvas on cardboard Jen I set to work.  Suki was actually pretty cooperative which surprised me somewhat (I really need to learn to trust my girls!).  Suki doesn't wear shoes so I was thinking that I would get a print of the rim and frog.  But the hard back of the canvas didn't leave enough of an impression.  So we are going to try a different method.  back to the craft store for supplies!

Stay tuned…….

Suki's wound is healing nicely, and RIP Ripley

While putting gas in my car today I saw that the adjacent cornfield had been chopped down and the mountains in the background were beginning to take on a different color.  Autumn on its way.  Though you wouldn't know it from the steamy weather we are currently experiencing!

9 September 2015
Suki and Nikki worked well this morning but I did shorten their sessions given the humidity.  I started with Suki, leaving a much confused Nikki standing in her stall!  She started nickering to Suki as we passed by her stall on our way out of the arena.  As I was closing the gate of the arena Nikki gave one more call, followed by V who was still out in her pasture.  Suki answered back before I could tell her not too, then ll of the girls settled down.  Nikki likely eating hay, V grazing near the fence and Suki got on with her work.

The wound on Suki's back is healing nicely, but still not quite ready for a saddle pad and surcingle.  So we continue to work in just the bridle lunging and doing work in hand.  We need to keep the training moving forward and continue increase fitness and muscle tone.  Suki seems to enjoy having a job so I know it is beneficial to her mentally as well.  Hopefully this will be a short setback and I will be back in the saddle in a few weeks.  But until then we will continue to work on steering (from the ground), transitions and in hand lateral work.

Since it was already quite humid I lunged Nikki for only a few minutes to let her stretch before I got on.  She worked well through transitions and after a few medium trots I let her stretch down and finish.  Both girls needed showers after that (as did I!), before happily settling into their stalls for the day cooling in front of their fans.

10 September 2015
I managed to get a quick work in with the girls this morning before the rain.  Tomorrow it is supposed to still be raining in the morning so we won't get to do anything in my available time frame.  With heavy rain predicted over night they will have to stay in because of Suki's bandage.  That will make for some grumpy mares by morning!

Wound looking better!

12 September 2015
I guess the cool air agrees with Suki and Nikki!  53F this morning when I arrived at the barn.  Nikki had a huge spring in her step which I promptly used to my advantage.  Another instance when shoulder in and half pass in my bad direction are corrected by the good energy and ease of movement off my leg.  I had a bit of a yahoo moment when I asked for a canter lengthening, but Nikki actually came back pretty readily with just a slightly stronger half halt!

Suki called to anyone who would listen on our way out to the arena and started her lunging session with a few head twirlies before settling down to work.  But then it was brilliant!  Tons of suspension and great lengthening and shortening of stride.  I would have loved to have been riding that!  The wound continues to heal and so far (knock on wood) it has not reopened.  The padded bandage is doing its job.  I am still able to get 2-3 days before having to change it.  It's such a difficult area for a bandage.  In addition I had been moisturizing that entire area so that created challenges for the first bandage.  Now I am careful to give the tape area a wide berth as I am moisturizing so the bandage will continue to stick.  This, of course, will require some "catch up" moisturizing once we are finished bandaging.  I can already see that it is becoming quite dry under the bandage adhesive.

15 September 2015
Temperatures and humidity are climbing this week, but mornings are still cool.  With the sun on the arena it warms up quickly and the biting flies seem to have multiplied!  But we get the work done then Suki and Nikki spend the day standing in front of their fans.  Such a hard life! I brought Isaiah with me to do my afternoon bandage check.  Suki must have liked the way his hair smelled.  She kept following him around her stall snuffling his head!  Then he went over to Nikki's stall and as soon as I opened her door she licked his face….TWICE!  so funny.

16 September 2015
Bandage change today.  Looks great!  Dr. Mike was right (of course!).  The skin is healthy now, not like when the burn was trying to heal.

19 September 2015
Once again Suki's bandage was in place after her night outside.  There were bits of grass stuck in the surcingle closures so I know there was some rolling going on!  When I removed the bandage it looked even better than last time!  I forgot to take a photo….  I could probably get away with putting a surcingle with saddle pad on at this point, but I don't want to rush anything.  She is still working, and this should be healed pretty soon, as long as the bandage continues to stay in place when she rolls.  Fingers crossed!  Suki and Nikki had some lovely work today, especially through the trot poles!

20 September 2015
We have had a bit of a rough morning.  For the past two weeks Michael and I have been taking turns sleeping in the family room with Ripley since the trip upstairs has become too difficult for him.  Michael was downstairs with him last night and came upstairs to wake me at around 3 AM.  Ripley had asked to go out but after going to the bathroom he became too tired and had to lie down.  We got him up and helped him walk in with a towel under his belly to help stabilize him.  We put him in his bed (tonight he couldn't get up on the couch) and his breathing was quite labored.  Just yesterday morning he was outside while Michael did some yard work.  During the past two weeks since we learned of his lung mass, he has actually done quite well on his meds.  Even counter surfing to get the cat food!  But Saturday afternoon he started to decline.  Quickly.  By evening we knew that Sunday we would probably have to take him to the vet to be euthanized.  But as we sat on the floor next to Ripley at 3 AM it was obvious that it would be cruel to wait until later in the morning.  Michael and I carried Ripley out to the car.  I covered him with blankets.  He seemed so cool to the touch.  Isaiah was awake now as well (had he not been I would have awakened him before Ripley went to the vet).  We said our goodbyes knowing that unlike two weeks ago, Ripley would not be coming home.  He fought the good fight, but it was time to let him go.  The cruelest of decisions to have to make (to those having to make that decision) but the kindest and best thing for Ripley.  So one month shy of his 13th birthday, our beloved Ripley is gone.

When Michael got home I went to the barn.  I lunged the girls and groomed them, happy to have a distraction.  But when I pulled into the garage I had to sit in the car for a moment.  As I stood in front of the door leading from the garage to the house I thought about how when I opened the door Ripley would not be coming to the door to greet me. So many reminders inside.  With tears streaming I turned the door knob.

Every day is a gift.

Ripley in the snow with Isaiah.  February 2015

Ripley and Bentley enjoying the afternoon sun