Pink Star Equestrian Barn Fire: Five Years Later

The memory is so vivid it could have been just yesterday.  The telephone call from Bobbi just before midnight telling me that the barn was on fire and our horses were missing.  I had seen Suki just a few hours earlier when I stopped by on my way home from a business trip.  The original plan had been to ride at that time but my husband had been called away on a work-related emergency so I needed to get home.  I gave Suki some treats and told her that I would see her tomorrow.

Before the fire

Of course the next time I saw her she was burned over 70% of her body, slathered in SSD and eyes swollen shut.  The veterinarians assured me that her pain was being well managed and Suki was getting 24 hour care.  She was stable, and there was hope.  The potential complications were many, and we would try to manage them as they arose.  We never did have to deal with those complications, and seven weeks later Suki left ICU for life on the outside.  During those seven weeks I visited her 3-4 times each week, something also attributed to her successful recovery.  It has been a long road since then, but I would say that Suki lives the life of a normal horse now.  She embraces her celebrity status like the diva she is, loving attention (and gummy bears!).

2 weeks after the fire

It is said that time heals all wounds.  Sometimes it takes a very long time though, and we retain the scars from those wounds as a reminder.  When I think back to that night, what stands out most is the fear.  Not just my own fear but my overwhelming concern for what Suki might be experiencing.  Paralyzed with fear and my inability to assist in the search because of my three year old son, I feared the worst and hoped for a good outcome.  When the call did come that the two mares had been found, the news was just about as bad as could be.  Suki was critically injured and would likely not survive.  I immediately asked if she should be put down, but the the veterinarian who evaluated her in the field that night, said not yet, but that Suki needed to go to New Bolton Center to be examined, over an hour away.  Bobbi and her husband borrowed a trailer (because our trailers were at the site of the fire) and volunteered to take Suki to the hospital.   First they dropped off Whisby, Bobbi's horse, at another farm, because although she was injured, Whisby did not need to go to the hospital.  To this day I have never felt that I adequately thanked Bobbi and Dave for their kindness.

So many people are responsible for getting Suki to this point.  The firefighters who rescued the horses that night, the many volunteers who helped search for Suki and Whisby, the doctors, nurses, etc at New Bolton who went above and beyond to save my girl, Donna, who drove to New Bolton with me that first morning and Babette who met us there, Beth who came the next day, Kelly Buss who took care of Suki at her farm also going above and beyond with her exceptional care, Heather Mason for her support as I awaited word on the night of the fire, and during her recovery, Dr. Mike Fugaro and Team Suki (Sarah, Meagan, Kim, Becky) at Centenary College for performing Suki's skin graft and taking care of her during the follow up, Lori Ferdock for her amazing help in caring for Suki when I moved her to regular boarding and introducing me and Suki to other burn survivors.  There is of course, Jenn whom I also met through Suki and takes the beautiful photos that are posted each night on FaceBook!  I'm sure there are many that I have forgotten to name personally, and for that I apologize.  I appreciate the support of the thousands of people around the world who understand that Suki was worth saving and know that everything I do  with her is for her health, safety and happiness.  Of course I can't forget my husband who has tolerated my horse obsession for years!  And to Suki, who in spite of her severe burns and swollen face, responded to my voice with a nicker, telling me that she was in there and wanted to live.


Although the physical wounds have healed, and Suki seems her normal diva self in every way, it still hurts me, deep within my heart to imagine the fear and pain for Suki that night.  But this morning driving down the driveway at the farm I looked across to see Suki happily grazing in the field alongside  Nikki.  I thought of what Dr. Kelly Kalf said early in Suki's recovery: "She lifted her head, and we never looked back".  While Suki's life is quite different than it was before the fire, she is back to work and I have a small glimmer of hope that I may sit on her again.  Even if that never happens Suki inspires people around the world because of her courage and will to live.  I have met amazing people and made wonderful lifelong friends through Suki.  And I get to see my beautiful girl every day, something I try not to take for granted.  We try to live each day to the fullest because everything can change in an instant.  When something catastrophic happens we can roll over and feel sorry for ourselves (I sometimes did that in the middle of the night when no one could see) or kick on.  I chose to kick on, because Suki's courage gave me the courage to do so.

The present!

So today, join me in celebrating LIFE and all the joy it brings!

Green heads and horse flies and gnats, oh my!

Isaiah and I are having our annual obsession with the corn fields of the Oley Valley.  Having grown up in northern New Jersey I am quite familiar with the fabulous "Jersey corn".  I have also had the most AMAZING silver queen variety outside Findlay, Ohio.  But during my decade in the Oley Valley (yikes! has it really been that long??) I have become obsessed with the corn fields of Berks County and have passed this time honored tradition on to my only child.  I grew up in a suburb of Manhattan, where our taste of the country consisted of Tice's and Van Riper's Farms (They are long gone home to several business parks and strip malls.)  In reality it was less than 30 minutes from my house, but driving past the apple orchards and pumpkin patches made it feel like it was a million miles away.  Now I am accustomed to being surrounded by dairy farms, corn fields and 200 year old Pennsylvania stone bank barns.  So as summer progresses Isaiah and I like to pass the corn fields and comment about the height of the stalks.  We also discuss which fields will produce first because of course not all fields are planted at the same time, providing the area with extended periods of fresh corn.  On our most recent trip to Oley Valley Feed we noted that some of the fields were crazy tall with corn, impairing the view of intersections.  Our favorite part of that trip is to put the top down on my car and drive through the covered bridge.  If there are no other cars coming (one lane, one car at a time) we stop in the middle and look up at the rafters.  In spite of the heat on that day, we indulged in our obsession, followed by ice cream at Oley Valley Dairy.  On the other side of the bridge we passed a four-in hand carriage....never saw that growing up in Bergen County!  Aaah lazy summer days!

I remember during my gap year, working at a small breeding farm in central New Jersey, hacking around the corn fields in the early evening.  Belle, an OTB mare that I was bringing bad after having her baby (Tinkerbelle, the first horse I started under saddle!).  Sometimes I would gallop Belle around the perimeter of cornfields, giving us both a thrill!  By August the corn stalks were insanely tall and on more than one occasion a small critter would rustle around in the stalks, startling Belle.  Other days it was just the sound of her footfall and blowing out through her nostrils.  I felt as free as the wind on those days!

Sunday, June 29, 2014
The early start to my day is always invigorating, even as temperatures begin to rise and the bugs come out.  On those days Suki and Nikki are often at the gate or head toward it when they see my car come down the driveway.

Suki at the gate

Nikki waiting her turn

In spite of the early hour the bugs were out in full force, but not completely intolerable (but the gnats were landing in my eyes as usual!).  If nothing else it encourages us to keep moving!   Nikki had really good energy so I kept the lunging warm up short, just giving her time to stretch and loosen her body.  She looked up in her back, and eased nicely through transitions.  I was anxious to get to the riding!  Nikki stretched down at the walk on a long rein immediately, swinging nicely in a big, sweeping walk.  Twice around the arena and I picked up the trot, feeling lovely energy from behind in a lifting, upward transition.  The entire ride held this wonderful energy, so I played with all kinds of lateral work, even a few steps of canter half pass.  It wasn't perfect, of course, but Nikki did as I asked and was in a fabulous working mood!

It was a little buggier by the time I got to Suki, but I needed to assess her soundness given the previous few days.  Much improved so I worked her lightly, again, doing many straight lines.  This is not so easy on the lunge line with a horse the size of Suki and her huge stride!  But that's what needed to be done.  When we finished I put the surcingle on her and walked up and down the aisle.  Another step in the process.  Due to the warm and humid day Suki would need to be free of her fly sheet which means a return trip before evening turnout to put it back on, since the sun was out and her skin needed to be protected.

During my return trip I ran into T, a new boarder.  I often see her on weekends when I return in the early evening to dress Suki and spray both girls with fly spray for evening turnout.  Admittedly I don't usually like new boarders.  It usually has less to do with them and more to do with my innate shyness and dislike of change!  I am especially turned off when someone tells me how fabulous they are, great rider, blah, blah, blah.

But T has just purchased a new horse that has had a difficult history and needs time and nurturing to build his confidence.  And she is willing to take her time and gain his trust.  The horse is very cute and has improved since she bought him.  It's all about the horse.  What's not to like about this person?

Monday, June 30, 2014
The last day of June.  The heat of summer.  A late morning ride, since I can't drop off Isaiah at camp until just before 9 AM.  The footing is getting hard so I worked Nikki lightly and Suki not at all.  At least today I do not have to do any repair work on Suki's fly sheet!

Nikki worked well and with good energy.  The pre-ride lunge has become just a brief warm up session because of the heat and bugs, but on more tolerable days I continue to use lunging and in-hand work as a training extension.  Some people tend to use lunging to let their horses gallop around and leap and buck.  While this does happen on occasion, I was taught to incorporate transitions, etc so that it is a useful training tool, intended to enhance the time in the saddle.

Suki's feet are a bit chipped, as she was at 5 weeks last Thursday.  The ground has been hard , so this is making it worse.  She and Nikki will be getting their feet done this afternoon, so it is still less than 6 weeks.  Our farrier is quite busy due to the dry conditions!

I am so pleased with how Suki's skin looks.  It is so important to keep the skin exfoliated and well moisturized and the current regimen seems to work well.  Today after her spa treatment I worked on stretches with her, getting her to really reach around, stretching her neck and back.  That girl will do anything for gummy bears!  I followed Nikki's ride with stretches also.  I stretch before and after I run, so shouldn't they?

Wednesday, July 2, 2014
Cloudy skies and extreme heat led to Suki being turned out naked last night.  This is a new occurrence for her, and so far she has done very well, though I had not seen evidence of rolling.  This morning was different.  I only had an hour so decided to give Suki and Nikki a cool shower, since they were already warm just standing in their stalls in front of fans!  Today I saw grass up near Suki's graft site, so I stood on a stool to assess any damage.  A little dirt, a little grass, smack in the middle of her back, but no evidence of irritation.  I am so excited!  I think they were both relieved at just having showers and treats today!

Thursday, July 3, 2014
Okay, so today I was hot just dropping off Isaiah at camp!  When I arrived at the barn at 9:15 the girls were already in of course, standing in front of their fans.  Nikki and I were both sticky with sweat by the time I finished tacking her up, but bravely we forged on.  Out in the arena, with the sun beating down on us I lunged Nikki a few times around in both directions then mounted.  The green heads were relentless!  Every time one landed on Nikki's chest she would dive down to get it.  As long as we kept moving the horse flies stayed away.  Each time we came down to the walk the green heads and horse flies attached themselves.  The catch-22: with the heat and humidity it is important to take a lot of breaks, but the bugs made me want to just keep moving to keep Nikki as comfortable as possible.  Honestly, she was a star.  The ride was brief but she was truly awesome.  Hopping off, I swatted at the bugs while running up the stirrups and loosening the girth.  Nikki gave a full body shake, thankfully saving that for after I dismounted!  I was definitely over heated so after I untacked Nikki I drank a Gatorade.  Following Nikki's shower and during the next hour I drank a second Gatorade and two bottles of water!

Following Nikki's shower I moisturized Suki's face, fluffed her mane and tail and gave her a cool shower as well.  With rain predicted for tonight I was able to leave Suki naked once again.  That means no extra trip back to the barn for me, and freedom for Suki!  In spite of the heat she still tried to follow me out of her stall. When I left both were happily dunking their hay and relaxing in front of their fans.

Friday, July 4, 2014
I am writing this portion of the post sitting outside.  Temperature is 65F with very low humidity and a cool breeze.  It's late afternoon and the husband and child have gone to a barbecue at a Little League friend's house.  I could have gone but it seemed like it would be primarily Dads and Little Leaguers so I stayed home.  I am loving the peace and quiet and the gorgeous weather.  What a difference a day makes!

I delayed my morning ride due to heavy rain.  Originally I had asked that Suki and Nikki stay in over night because of severe storms.  That did not occur, so thankfully the girls went out after 9 PM last night.  A cool 64F, breezy and drizzly I went to the barn at 7:30 instead of 6:30.  With the rain intermittent I was sure I could sneak in a ride!  The girls were happily grazing as I came down the driveway, not even remotely interested in my arrival!  Calling to them from the gate, neither one could be bothered to even turn around!  I walked across the field, and ONLY when Nikki decided to come to me did Suki raise her head.  That, of course, was to make a face at Nikki and she reluctantly came to me.  Nikki followed close behind as we walked to the gate.

The rain had stopped, but the sky still threatened with rain.  Nikki and I bravely headed out to the arena anyway, and the cool breezy temperature and occasional drizzle kept us quite happy in our work.  No green heads, horse flies or gnats to torture us!  The arena had a few puddles but otherwise the footing was perfect, soft and giving.  Ears pricked forward, Nikki was ready to work.  She offered some beautiful canter lengthenings and after the first hesitation to collect due to exuberance, she responded promptly.  What a difference a day makes!  I also added some canter to walk transitions to the mix.  Sitting up, she responded well and lifted nicely into the transitions.  The leg yields were done at a bigger trot today so I changed the bend for a bit of half pass.  The rain increased at times but that did not dampen our spirits.

The soft footing and recently trimmed feet Suki was ready to go.  While grooming her I noticed dirt across the top of her back, evidence of another hearty roll.  Everything looks great!
I just did a basic workout with Suki, but included shortening and lengthening of stride at the trot and canter.  I detected a bit of stiffness to start but she worked out of it.  I think that it is getting to be time for a lameness evaluation and possibly Adequan for her joints.  The rain became heavier so we cut the work short and after a bit of stretchy trot (with nice movement in her back) we headed in.  Once again we finished with stretches and a spa treatment.  Because of the cool temperatures predicted for the day I dressed Suki in a slightly heavier fly sheet giving the light weight one a much needed reprieve!  I forgot to bring it home for washing though.....

July 4th.  In five days we will mark five years since the fire.  How is that possible?  At that time my only hope was that Suki would survive and recover enough to live a happy, comfortable life.  But her life is so much more than that.  She is working, and there is a chance I will ride her again one day.  Suki inspires people with her courage and diva attitude.  She also brings comfort to other owners of horses who have been injured in barn fires, giving them hope.  Suki is such a bright light, bringing a smile to those around her.

Wearing a surcingle

So I had an entire post completely written, and now it is gone....  Uggh.

This will be a shortened version!

Sunday 22 June 2014
Perfect day for riding.  Suki and Nikki had yesterday off, so they were both ready to work.  I really enjoy my early morning rides.  The farm is peaceful and the air is usually a bit cooler than later in the day.  It gives me the opportunity to really take my time with each horse, grooming and training.

Nikki has been going through her mounting block phase again, something we revisit every few weeks. It just takes patience, but I have to admit I find it a bit annoying.  It seems to me it's a cycling issue, because it usually starts one day before she shows signs of heat, then lasts about a week.  Today was only one time stepping away.  The second attempt she stood quietly.  At least it's winding down again!

I worked a bit on leg yielding, then shoulder in to a few steps of half pass.  The best part of the ride was when I asked for  trot lengthening across the diagonal and Nikki launched into an awesome medium!  WOW!  But that was when I realized that I hadn’t actually SAT a medium in awhile.  The rest of the ride included some work without stirrups!

Suki listened well and was not at all distracted by the horses in the fields around her.  It was a pleasure to see her so focused.  After her day off I did a lot forward gaits, as she started off slightly stiff.  A few times around and the stiffness was gone.  Transitions within the gaits were achieved by a simple change of my body position.  She was so in tune with what I was asking.  Such fun!  I love the way she walks back to the barn after working.  Very proud of herself!  Today I put the surcingle on over the saddle pad but just let it hang without buckling it.  Suki turned around and looked at it for a moment but that was it.  That was pretty much how she reacted the first time I put a sheet on her when she was three, so I shouldn’t be too surprised.  I know that it seems like I am moving at a glacial pace, but With everything that she has been through I just need to take my time.  She has recovered from the fire so beautifully, but I want to make sure that she is physically and mentally ready for each step.

Monday 23 June 2014
A warm, humid start to the day, and since Isaiah had camp I could not get to the barn until 9:15.  It was already a bit steamy, but the girls were inside in front of their fans relaxing when I arrived.  Rough life!!

The flies were annoying, but Nikki was a trooper with only one step aside for mounting.  Maybe next time she will stand still!  I spread the trot poles a bit wider today and she went through them with ease.  She looked at them a little bit the first time through but stepped it up nicely.  The first few canter transitions I felt like she was pulling a bit so I put her on a 20 meter circle and asked for trot-canter, canter-trot transitions every few strides.  It was much better after that!

We were both pretty steamy after that session so Nikki had a cool shower and I drank a bottle of Gatorade.  I used to only like the lime flavor but am a new fan of strawberry!

Suki was amazing!  She was so ready to work.  There was no evidence of stiffness even at the beginning.  The trot to halt transitions were dead-on square.  Then she lifted right into trot when asked.

Before I hosed her off I put the saddle pad on her back then the surcingle, which I buckled.  No problem.

She's really not as cranky as she appears!

Thursday 26 June 2014

Another 9:30 start to the day, but after a brief lunge for Nikki I got on.  She stood like a rock and was in such a delightful mood!!  Shoulder in is definitely improving, and today I worked on a bit of haunches in as well.  I have not worked on haunches in for awhile, but Nikki was very responsive with correct bend and nice forward energy.  I also worked on spiral in at the trot from a 20m circle then leg yield out asking for the canter as we hit the 20m mark again.  She stretched beautifully at the walk to cool out and we went for a walk outside the arena.

While Nikki’s fetlock wound seems to be healing nicely, Suki’s looks like it has re-opened.  It is a little sensitive to the touch but not bad.  Suki walked out to the arena ready to work, but once she picked up the trot I could see that she was quite uncomfortable on the left hind.  Moving her out on straight lines and large circles to see if it improve, I could tell it would not.  She will rest tomorrow and I will check again on Saturday.  I wonder if it is because of that wound?  I cleaned it really well and applied Beeswax Bandage ointment.

I also needed to take home Suki’s lightest weight fly sheet to make some repairs (this has been an almost daily occurrence!) This particular sheet is a very light weight mesh so it is perfect for hot days.  I often leave her naked in her stall during the day then return to put the sheet back on for turnout.  The Smart Pak fly sheet is out for repairs and although it too is light weight it is slightly heavier and more durable than the Saxon sheet.  Last summer my fabulous blanket lady sewed a light weight cotton panel just across the top to protect Suki’s skin from the sun.  I need to find another for back up, but it is difficult to find in a size 84!

Saturday 28 June 2014
Beautiful morning, low 60sF and moderate humidity.  I could feel the day warming quickly and the girls started towards the gate as soon as they saw me coming down the driveway!  By the middle of next week temperatures and humidity are expected to rise so I will enjoy this while I can!

Nikki did a BIG downward dog stretch just after we walked out of the barn, with an equally loud groan.  This was followed by an arabesque stretch on each leg!  After a very brief lunge to let her stretch her back a bit, Nikki stood quietly at the mounting block again. Her energy was super so we did a bunch of different exercises.  We were both tired but pleased at the end of the ride.  As soon as I dismounted Nikki stepped back to recive her post ride sugar cube!

I wanted to check Suki’s soundness status so I did a quick groom and took her out to the arena.  She did her arabesque stretches just before we left the barn.  Huge improvement today, but I will give her another rest day.  The cut looks better but I am not fully convinced that was the entire problem.  I was happy to see improvement though.  After a thorough grooming exfoliation and moisturizing I decided to leave Suki naked in her stall.  I will return later to put it on before turnout tonight.  Did I mention there was another hole to repair!?

Tomorrow will be another early start, but is there anything better than to start the day greeted by the happy knickers of greeting by your horses?

A night without a fly sheet and plans for the surcingle next week!

The past few weeks have been a bit busy, to say the least!  Isaiah was finishing his final exams (2nd grade) during the first week of June, delayed this year due to the insane number of snow days.  While settling in to her assisted living apartment my mother fell again and fractured her wrist (same arm as the proximal humerus fracture).  Otherwise my mother is doing well, recovering nicely and doing her physical therapy.  It was good that she did not have to remain in the hospital more than one night, and because they can perform physical therapy in her apartment it was not necessary for her to return to the rehab facility.  Now that we have moved mom's furniture into her apartment it feels like home to her and she seems quite happy.

I cannot believe that 3 weeks have passed since my last post but indeed they have!  During that time the corn fields of the Oley Valley have sprung up nicely due to consistent rain adding to the lush, green landscape.  While we have had some steamy, sticky days filled with gnats there have also been some lovely, cool evenings where temperatures dip to the low 50'sF and rising only to the low 70's with minimal humidity.  The hot days of summer will soon be upon us and I promise to try not to complain too much given how difficult this past winter was.  Alas, though, I am sure I will complain because I have always hated really hot days!  Maybe I should look at some pictures of the large quantities of snow when I feel the need to complain....

Nikki has been working well, but as she bores easily I change things around quite a bit.  She seems to enjoy when I throw something unexpected into the mix.....for example, last week as I cantered along the far side of the arena I turned Nikki toward a single rail on the ground.  It surprised her a bit so she jumped it as if it were 3 feet off the ground!  Those leaps are always a bit unwelcome, but especially in a dressage saddle!  Fortunately I did not come unseated by it and laughed at our slight misstep.  Also fortunately no one was around to witness my moment of "ungracefullness"!  I'm certain that my eyes and Nikki's were as large as saucers as we launched into the air.  The next time she just cantered the pole like it was another stride, which was my plan in the first place!  My plan was also to make Nikki think and not just go through the motions of work.  So I guess we accomplished that as well.

Lateral work is also being stepped up a notch.  As I have said we are a little behind in training, but Nikki is certainly capable of doing the work.  Skills need to be sharpened, including reaction time to aids.  We work on lenghthening and shortening of stride, and to decrease anticipation on diagonals and long side of the arena I ask on the 20m circle.  I am pleased with this exercise.  It is nice to feel Nikki lift in her back and push off her hind end to lengthen and compress.

We have been dealing a little with the mounting block issue, but that is a recurring issue every few weeks.  Of course I try to reason with her before I get on..... "If you stand quietly first try I will shorten the ride".  Never works. But it has improved and will disappear for a few weeks.  She sometimes swings her butt out just as I get on the mounting block.  If she hesitates then I can get my foot in the stirrup and get on even as she swings her hind end (I m thankful for my 17 years of ballet training!).  But then I walk a loop, trot a loop, get off and back on.  Nikki hates this and gives in fairly quickly with a sigh of resignation!

Overall Nikki's energy level has been excellent and lateral work is improving greatly as well.  On hot, buggy days a gnat usually flies into my eye just as I am mounting, adding to the fun.  I am like a magnet to gnats!  Many have been swallowed.  The horse flies have not been so bad yet and I have not seen any green heads.  That too will happen by July!

After workout selfie!

Suki too, is working well.  For the past few weeks I have been focusing on fitness and sharpening transitions.  Some days start with a bit of stiffness, which on most occasions resolves quickly.  Other days I see a hint of it throughout the workout.  Before the work becomes too intense I will have Suki evaluated so that we can address any problems.  It is nice to see how happy she is in regular work, almost appearing to be disappointed on those days when she does not work.  Sometimes on Suki's day off I add some stretches or brief leading exercises to give her something to do.

Earlier this week we worked on trot-to-halt and halt-to trot transitions.  After the first try the transitions were as sharp as ever.  I am pleased with her progression and her increasing fitness, but probably still babying her just a bit!  The walk-canter and canter-walk transitions are added on some days as well, and they too are becoming better.  I am careful with both girls when the footing is hard after several days without rain.

Next week I am going to add the surcingle with saddle pad.  Then side reins.  I have to pick up a bit for Suki's bridle before I can add side reins.  For now I use Nikki's but the bridle really does not fit well, so I have been having Suki wear it less frequently.  The Micklham bridle that I bought for her I have not yet tried, so that is the plan for next week also.

Last week for the first time since the fire I allowed Suki to go out over night naked.  The afternoon was overcast with rain expected over night.  Suki has not worn any additional padding over her graft site in well over a year, probably closer to two years now.  She wears fly sheets to protect the part of her back that did not achieve new hair growth from the sun.  But without sun I decided to give it a try.

I smiled as I drove down the driveway to the barn, being greeted by my beautiful girls!  Both of them without any protective clothing.  Suki must have felt liberated! I went to the barn really early to be sure it all worked out!  I believe there was an extra spring to her step that day working!  That night I left her naked again, although the sun was out when I woke up at 5 AM s I rushed over and got an early start to the day!

Last Saturday was Isaiah's first dressage show off the farm.  His rides were not until 3:30 in the afternoon so I had until 11 to ride and lunge.  Isaiah and I went to Louise's at noon to get Rusty ready for the big day.  he discouraged me from helping, declaring that he knew what to do.  Because Louise did not know how Rusty would react at a show off the farm we elected to have Isaiah do the leadline tests.  They can be performed with or without being led, so Louise just walked beside Isaiah as he performed his tests.  I was videoing the tests, and became misty-eyed watching him halt and salute the judge!

Warming up

Going over the test with Louise

A job well done                                      

Saturday, June 21, 2014
This morning I went to the barn early to groom the girls.  Suki met me at the gate, but Nikki made me walk out to her!  The temperature was 59F, so I guess she was not in any hurry to come in!

Once in, Nikki enjoyed her thorough grooming.  Her right hind foot, in the cleft above the bulb had an irritation that was dried scab and a bit goopy.  After cleaning it I sprayed Blue Kote on to keep it dry and protect it.  AsI was spraying it flew back into my left eye.  I immediately flushed my eye with water then continued what i was doing.  When I got in the car I noticed that the entire side of my face was PURPLE!!!  And this stuff stains!  I washed my whole face, but there was also some purple in my hair.  Thankfully I was wearing a hat or that would have been much worse.  The purple in my hair is underneath my bangs so it is not noticeable unless I pull them back!

Suki also had a weird thing on her left hind in the same place.  I cleaned it and applied Blue Kote with a bit more care.  She actually lifted her leg and held it out to the side to make it easier for me!

To finish this evening I would like to note something.....Isaiah was playing MineCraft and commented that in order to get the horses to work for you, you have to make them love you first.....hmmmm the importance of the human-horse relationship!

Suki settles into a working routine

My original plan was to start this post sitting outside under the umbrella with a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc.  When I opened the umbrella there were about a million (okay, 20 or so) stink bugs clinging to it!
Sunday, May 25, 2014
The mounting block game.  I thought we had left it behind, but alas it reared its ugly head this morning.  I should have expected it though given Nikki's very S-L-O-W walk to the arena.  She stretched a few times, stopped, looked around, etc.  I kept reaching behind to swat her with the lunge whip to get the walk a bit more forward.  Lunging was slow so I watched carefully to look for unsoundness.  Everything else this morning was normal, so I urged Nikki on to make her free and loose.  Once she got motoring everything was fine.  Then, the mounting block....Nikki lined up to the mounting block fine but kept swinging her but away so that I could not reach the stirrup.  Three times then she she stood.  So I walked around the arena, got off then remounted.  By the third time Nikki let out a big sigh and we were fine.  The rest of the ride was lovely.  Nikki was forward, and I rode her through the ground poles several times.  I decided to keep the ride short and we finished with some very nice lengthenings.

I typically don't work Suki two days in a row but I wanted to see if she was stiff or sore so I did a 5 minute lunge to evaluate.  Starting off slightly stiff, Suki worked out of it quickly.  I asked for a bit of canter and finished.

I am noticing a change in Suki.  With regular work she seems to be not quite as impatient while being groomed, and even a bit more reasonable about waiting for turn out.  Walking out to the arena Suki marches with a purpose and sets right to work.  It may seem silly to say this, but I notice a spark in her eye as she gets back into regular work. While she has been happy and healthy all of this time I think the happiness quotient has kicked up a notch!


This weekend I have been thinking about Dressage at Saratoga.  I used to take Jenny to that show.  The first time that we competed the show was still a CDI and I remembered feeling somewhat overwhelmed.  Yes the footing is a bit deep, something to be considered when planning three days worth of tests.  The show has changed and become much smaller over the years....at the time I competed seven arenas ran simultaneously, while now it is 3-4.  But I do have some wonderful memories and experiences to last a lifetime!

Monday, May 26, 2014
Nikki had today off so I gave her a very thorough grooming and pampering session.  Her lip drooped while I massaged her with the buffing mitt, and she dropped her head while I rubbed it with a towel.  She definitely enjoyed that time and her day off!

Suki had a 15 minute lunge and 10 minutes of in hand work.  Most of the work on the lunge was transitions between and within the gaits.  Working on building fitness and sharpening transitions.  Suki's transitions are spot on, so that doesn't take much effort!  She doesn't really pay too much attention to what is going on around her, even when Nikki calls to her from the barn.  In hand I worked on a little piaffe, which was not as sharp today as it can be so I moved to leading exercises with many quick changes of direction.  I asked for some "mini piaffe" after that and it was a bit improved.

So much to do, but we just keep moving forward at a reasonably steady pace.  In my mind I have a time frame, which I have also committed to paper, but this remains flexible.  The most important thing is that Suki remain sound and healthy.  I am pleased to note that so far I have not noticed any respiratory issues.  My thought is that by taking the fitness level up gradually we will avoid problems.  Time will tell, but so far I am pleased with the progress!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Suki and Nikki were especially vocal when I entered the barn this morning!  It is my favorite morning greeting, especially when the child greeted me upon waking with: "It CANNOT be morning already!"  As a morning person I struggle with understanding the problem!

Nikki immediately starts to demand for treats while Suki gives me the evil eye from down at the end of the aisle.  I settled Suki in with a small amount of hay and got Nikki ready to work.
Because Nikki had yesterday off I gave her a slightly longer lunge warm up to loosen the muscles.  Nikki was relaxed and loose in her muscles, clearly benefiting from her day off.  I am a firm believer that horses sometimes just need to be horses.  Even the fabulous Lipizzaners in Vienna have the summer off and relax on the hills of Piber.  Just being horses.

Suki called to Nikki once as we left the barn.  Starting the ride with three loop serpentines I moved from posting trot to sitting asking for a bit more collection.  I was pleased with Nikki's response.  There wasn't any stiffness in her back as I moved from rising to sitting....and I actually felt her lift in the back.  Yay!  Canter transitions were less than brilliant, but I feel like this was my fault.  To remedy this I did my spiral in at the trot, leg yield out, with canter transition as I reach the 20m circle.  Next I did the "bow tie" exercise, asking for canter as I hit the track.  After success with those I exercises I finished with stretchy trot in both directions.

A day off for Suki so there was a full exfoliation and moisturizing session.  I also stretched each leg as I massaged her muscles.  Tomorrow will be a work day for her.  She was happy to go out, but did not get too crazed while I put Nikki out first!  Well, maybe a little.  But she does wait while I turn her around and unhook the lead rope.  I suspect that she is not this way for everyone, but I have certain expectations and she knows that.  Nikki is always polite about being turned out!

Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Today was lateral work day.  Following my regular warm up with Nikki I worked on transitions within the gaits to improve response time.  Then we moved on to leg yielding which worked well even off my bad leg....well I guess it is my less effective leg!  Even shoulder in was respectable...I like to ask for it on the quarter line and center line, not just on the rail.  It helps me to keep it straighter and teaches both of us to not depend on a barrier.  I asked for a few steps of shoulder in in both directions then finished once again with a stretchy trot.  We are a bit behind, but I am feeling a little more confidence as we move forward.  Nikki enjoys our post work out routine, waiting for the face massage!  Back in her stall with half flake of hay I moved on to Suki.

Suki came barging out of her stall ready for action.  She seemed anxious to work.  I love how she marches out to the arena, ignoring Nikki's calls from the barn!  Suki seems ready to get down to business as we move through the arena gate.  Occasionally there is a lapse where she tries to dive for a mouthful of grass just outside the arena, but responds promptly to my reprimand.  I started Suki with a warm up of trot and canter then did the lunge line version of the spiral-in-leg-yield-out exercise.  This worked better than expected, since I hadn't done it in awhile.  Not just for me, but for Suki as well.  The coordination of the aids is critical....like dancing a pas de deux.  We were both up for the challenge!  The minute we finished Suki looked to my pockets for sugar cubes.

Thursday, May 29, 2014
Mornings at the barn are peaceful and quiet.  Walking into the barn with greetings of nickers from the girls and the surrounding green fields and mountains reminds me of why I find the Oley Valley a beautiful place to live.
Nikki was so lovely this morning!  The air was cool and breezy, without sunshine.  But that's okay, because there is still such a calmness in the surroundings that I embrace.  We had a brief moment of mounting block indecision, but with one growl Nikki stepped back into place.  Her trot lengthnings were really beautiful today, and she came back into a more collected gait very easily.  I kept the work simple, and took a walk outside the arena to finish.

Jenn came over to take photos of Suki working.  But Suki was a little difficult about having the bridle put on today.  Yesterday I lunged her in a halter, but I went back to the bridle today.  Not sure if I am keeping the bridle that I bought for her.  It doesn't fit as well as I think it should.  So I used Nikki's, which needs to be adjusted once on.  I was finally successful in getting it on, but something seemed off.  When we approached the arena Suki did not want to go in, so I switched the lunge line to the halter instead.  She worked okay, but I felt there was some fussiness in the bridle, even without the lunge line attached.  Her teeth were done in April, so I think that perhaps I did not adjust the bridle appropriately.  I need to make a decision on her bridle and perhaps find a different one.  The bit is the same type that I have always used, so I don't think that was the problem.  She looked good at the trot, moving out nicely in her working trot.  Jenn commented on how nice Suki's extended trot is....but I told her that this was Suki's regular, working trot....her extended trot is a sight to behold!  Workout was shortened but Suki seemed happy and sound.

I'm struggling a bit with my competitive goals these days.  I've always enjoyed showing and am very competitive.  But I also enjoy bringing horses along through the levels, and yes, showing is a measurement of how well we are accomplishing that task.   I don't think that it is because I have lost a competitive edge.  I have always been quite successful with showing, but some spark has left.  While I am a spectator at Dressage at Devon I do feel the spark return, but honestly, the Andreas Hausberger clinic last summer drove me more.  Perhaps I am finally understanding and embracing Pierre de Coubertin's Olympic Creed:

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well." 

I think of the Spanish Riding School.  They do not compete, they perform.  But the focus is first, and foremost on the process of the training and the correctness.  While we all strive for success in life, perhaps this is what it is all about.  I feel that in Suki's survival and recovery that in our conquering we have also fought well.

Dancing into spring

The Oley Valley has finally unfolded into spring.  We have been enjoying bright blue sky and moderate temperatures, with a few exceptions.  The harsh and prolonged winter delayed spring, but finally we are surrounded by lush green fields and beautiful flowers.

The girls are back to work and that makes me smile.  Although I am a bit behind in training compared to where I had hoped to be, we are making progress!  Nikki came back to work nicely after her lengthy hiatus and continues to improve in fitness and technical effort.  Suki's work is at a slower pace, but that too is picking up.  And she seems to enjoy it, which is what matters most.

Sunrise is early now, so when I have the opportunity I ride at 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning on weekends.  I never sleep late anyway so I'm not missing a sleep-in on the weekend!  It is the perfect time of day to ride.  I love how quiet everything is, with only the sound of birds, an occasional whinny and my foot steps crunching in the gravel.  The mornings have been blissfully cool at 50'sF and I am going to appreciate that before the heat of the summer takes over!

Sunday, May 18, 2014
Nikki worked well this morning.  It was cool and breezy....my favorite type of riding weather!  Nikki was a little heavy in the canter transitions so I made big loops in the arena with multiple transitions.  While I succeeded in lightening her in my hand, she started to anticipate canter transitions during the trot work afterword.  To remedy that we went back to some walk trot transitions.  I felt a little tension but after just a few minutes Nikki began to relax underneath me and soften in the hand again.  In spite of that this was good energy and even when there was anticipation of a movement she waited to be asked before proceeding.  I finished with big loops in a stretchy trot getting nice suppleness in her back and relaxation in her neck.  Jen came out and took some photos, including some great candids!


I was going to work Suki as well, but she the small chip in her left front foot had become larger so a thorough grooming was in order instead.  The skin on Suki's back appears to be quite strong, and even though it is scar tissue she can still feel a fly when it lands on her back!  Now that I have switched to fly sheets it is critical that I don't skip days of moisturizing.  The regular sheets and blankets seal in the moisture, but the open mesh of a fly sheet tends to encourage drying.  I have an outstanding skin care regimen that I use with Suki, developed after much trial and error.  Olay sensitive skin with sunscreen for the face and ears, and Aquafor petroleum based moisturizer for everywhere else.  I have tried more expensive products, but this system works well, and Suki's skin looks amazing.  (hmmm, perhaps I should use this regimen myself....)Exfoliation is performed almost every day.

Next up was to tackle Nikki's seriously over grown mane!  Unlike most horses she hates the lower half of her mane being pulled but is perfectly fine as you move up her neck.  So relaxed, Nikki is, that she actually drops her head and dozes off!  So instead of a stool for the 17.2h girl, I end up practically on my knees!  Jen was still there so she held Nikki and kept her occupied for the difficult part.

I wouldn't say I waited TOO long to do this....

Better, huh?  Not to worry, I fixed that part by her withers!

Suki will be next!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Nikki had the day off yesterday, after a productive three days of work.  I tend to do three on, on off with her as it seems to keep her happy.  Today after a brief lunge and a trot warm up on her back I decided to do a nice forward canter around the arena in two-point.  Well, as two-point as one can be in a fairly deep seated dressage saddle!  Ears forward and a twinkle in her eye, Nikki embraced my offer to go.  As she can be a little lazy at times I was surprised at how eagerly she moved on.  It felt great!  I am certain that we were both smiling just a bit!  I kept reaching forward to pat her neck, and she just seemed to be having a great time.  Given how Nikki was anticipatory following canter work on our previous ride, perhaps this was not my most brilliant idea,  but I wanted to give it a try.  I used to do it with Jenny all the time because after her trailer accident and subsequent hock surgery, it helped to loosen her up before performing the more collected work.

After a short walk break I moved on to trot work.  This time Nikki did not try to anticipate canter.  In fact she was quite ready to work, moving quickly off a light leg and softly into my hand.  I incorporated a bit of leg yielding and while Nikki was awesome moving off my left leg, I encountered a little bracing off my right leg.  This is more my issue than hers, so I dropped my irons and received a better response.      Changing the bend briefly in both directions I was able to get a few steps of half pass, something we had been working on prior to the ice age winter of 2013/14!  Nikki LOVES doing trot poles so I worked her through them a few times, finishing our ride with a big stretchy trot.  I believe she was quite pleased with herself!  Once dismounted I gave her big face rubs and an eagerly awaited sugar cube.

With the farrier due out on Thursday I elected to wait to lunge Suki.  That chip bothered me, and now that the chunk had come off I was not willing to worker.  In just two days time her feet had gone from reasonable to chipped.  Looks like we are back to a five week schedule!  That is pretty consistent for both girls...five weeks.  I am still hoping to avoid putting shoes on Suki, but we will see how that goes! Instead I chose to work stretches and a few leading exercises.  These are always helpful as they keep the horse's response time sharp.  Suki did well with her work but was more focused on going out than anything else.  To compensate for that I made frequent changes in my requests, forcing her to pay attention.  It worked, and when we were finished she let out a huge sigh!  So dramatic!

Wednesday, May 21, 2014
I managed to sneak in a ride on Nikki before the rain.  After a stretchy warm up and a bit of forward canter, I worked through transitions within the gaits.  Pleased with Nikki's response I kept the ride short.
In hand work with Suki included a few steps of piaffe, which she gave willingly.  I worked her in the paddock behind the barn, and she listened well in spite of Sammy the pony watching and calling to her!

Occasional showers were forecasted for the day but with temperatures warm enough I let the girls go out.  It s nice to not have to worry about a bandage on Suki's back, making turnout in light rain acceptable.  The wet fly sheet was removed when she came in for the night, so Suki got to be naked for a change!  That is only allowed while in her stall or being worked, but I know it must feel great to her!

Saturday, May 24, 2014
Beautiful morning!  Cool and breezy.  My favorite!  Arriving at the barn by 7:15 the girls called to me as I walked in.  I love hearing their voices in the morning.  My entire day is brighter!

Nikki first.  Clearly she was sleeping on a manure pile in her stall, given what was stuck to her.  With shavings in her mane and tail i knew that she had a good night's sleep.  My girls love their sleep time in their stalls.  Nikki was a little girthy this morning, which surprised me since she had yesterday off.  I am always very slow and careful with girthing, but perhaps she was not quite awake enough!  I lunged for just 8 minutes (4 minutes per direction) enough to get her stretching and loose.  Wonderful energy once I was in the saddle, and ready to work.  Today I did quite a bit of lateral work after a big trot in serpentines around the arena.  Shoulder in on the quarter line then shoulder in to a few steps of half pass.  Spiraling in at the trot and leg yielding out with a canter transition upon reaching the 20m circle.  I like this exercise and so does Nikki.  Once again I finished with a stretchy trot, and this time a walk up the driveway (I was SO brave today!  Oh, and Nikki was too!)

Feet done on Thursday, Suki was ready to be lunged.  She knows that when the polos go on there is lunging involved.....note the "game face"!

After a snort at the mat in front of the fox hunting ladies' trailer, we had an uneventful trip to the arena.  The breeze had picked up and Suki's ears were pricked forward as she marched to the arena......clearly ready to work!  Dapples shining in the sun, Suki walked quietly on the lunge to stretch, while Nikki called to her from the barn.  I find it amazing that Nikki misses her....Suki is really not always kind to her baby sister.  I worked a lot of "forward and back" at the trot and Suki was definitely up for it. That girl just takes my breath away.  It is heartwarming to see her so happy and healthy, doing what comes natural to her.  I laughed when she dug around for sugar cubes (yes, she and Nikki know the routine!) and love how proudly she walked back to the barn.

This July 9 marks 5 years since the fire.  Five years since the day when Dr. Kelly Kalf said "she lifted her head and we never looked back".  And every day, we continue to look forward.

Happy Birthday Suki!

Suki turned 14 today.  Since the fire, her birthday is a reminder of how close I came to losing her.  How she almost didn't reach 10, much less 14.  I think about it on the day that marks the fire.  I think about it when she looks into my eyes and I see her soul.  I think about it when I watch her gallop in the field and roll in the mud with the pure joy of loving life.  And today was no different.  I did try to put a birthday hat on her this morning, and while I did get it on her head once, it fell before I could take a picture.  After that she just snorted at it and was very clear that the birthday hat was not going anywhere near her head!  When I turned her out after her daily spa treatment she galloped across the field, slowed to a canter then trotted around a bit.  I had to catch my breath for a moment to watch the beauty and joy of my beloved Suki and the thought of what almost was.  As usual, Nikki was just casually strolling across the field, EXHAUSTED from our ride.  Suki chased her for a moment then trotted off again.  Their personalities are different in many ways but similar in the diva aspect.  I love my girls!!

It is so wonderful to be riding again.  Louise started her up for me again after I lunged Nikki in tack for a week prior.  Last week I rode for the first time since December, which seemed like an eternity!  Putting my foot in the stirrup and settling into the saddle I felt a calmness wash over me that I had not experienced since my mother went into the hospital.  Life has been crazy with business and worry, but those moments when we are with our horses it all goes away for awhile.

Friday, May 1 was my first day back in the saddle.  Louise had noted that Nikki has a softer look in her eye now, compared to December.  December was a rough month.  Nikki injured her hock, was on stall rest, sprung a shoe then was turned out in the paddock only due to weather conditions.  I mistakingly did not request that her grain be decreased so she became a bit wild.  Then the snow came and continued to fall.....we were finished for the season.  So perhaps that is the reason, or she is maturing.  Warmbloods take longer than other breeds to mature both physically and mentally, and Nikki turned seven in April.  Suki was seven when she finished growing in height (thankfully!).  Whatever the reason, Nikki appears to be happily back in work.  As am I!  I do agree with Louise.  Nikki does seem to have a softer look, and other than begging for sugars, is responsive.

Yesterday I added more sitting trot.  Nikki came softly into my hand and pushed nicely from behind.  Her down transitions are immediate but a little heavy in the hand, so I am working many transitions which lightens her up front.  Canter transitions have been remarkably smooth (thank you Louise!).  I know that she is behind in training for her age, but life has gotten in the way.  I hate to admit that, because i always said that it would never happen.  Hopefully this year will be a turning point.

Mother Nature appears to be softening bait, and although we have chilly nights (40F) the days warm nicely.  Spring was delayed but the grass is finally starting to get quite green and trees are budding nicely.  Soon we will complain about the heat, so I will enjoy the transition!

Today I did a bit of leg yield with Nikki and she was quick off my leg in both directions.  Next ride I will add the spiral exercise!

Suki lunged well, but I kept it pretty basic.  Nicely forward to loosen up (she starts stiff) then upward and downward transitions.  Just 15 minutes, but she worked quite well.  I am trying to decide when to add the surcingle.   Two weeks?  I think that she is ready for side reins, so I will need the surcingle to do that.  Stiffness appears to resolve after a few minutes so for now I think we are okay.  I know in my brain that it is time to stop babying Suki with regards to work.  My heart struggles a bit.  She has been through so much.  But she is strong and more confident now.  Will I be riding both mares by fall?  I certainly hope so.

But today we celebrate Suki's 14th birthday.  And her joy of life.  Floating across the field, daring anyone one to say that the triumph was not worth the struggle.