Monday-Thursday

Monday, March 19, 2012 I wake up to another morning of fog, though not as thick as it had been on the weekend. The weather has been unseasonably warm, and I simply don't like it. While it seems pleasant enough, but unnatural. This makes make worry about the girls constantly because horses often colic with rapidly changing weather. The temperatures do decrease quite a bit in the evening, which is nice. But over the past several days buds have appeared on trees and bushes that ordinarily would not be visible yet. Mondays drag endlessly because all I can think about is the girls, riding and writing my book. My ipad sits perched on my office desk, and as I become distracted, or thoughts come to me, I spin around in my chair and write a few sentences. On that day my mind frequently wandered back to the lovely rides on Nikki over the weekend, and I look forward to Tuesday's ride. Meghan said that she was very good on Monday, inside the arena and out. They even jumped the scary wagon wheel jump.

Suki's lunging session on the weekend was very promising, so my thoughts also drifted to an anticipated afternoon lunge. The end of the day could not come fast enough and I raced to the barn to see Suki. I could see her in the white (but now dirty) fly sheet from the top of the driveway standing with Banker, and she followed me along the fence line when she saw my car. By the time I opened the door Suki had her head over the fence and was softly nickering to me. That's what made my day bearable! Knowing that Suki would be happily waiting for me...how I wish that Nikki was at the same barn so I could see both of them everyday. I worked Suki for another 5 minute lunge and she stretched out at the walk afterwards. I love that. She always did that under saddle (and Nikki does it too). It's a long stretch of the neck, and the entire body is relaxed. Under saddle you can actually feel it....the change in the body as it relaxes after exercise.

Tuesday (March 20) was warm again, and work was busier than ever. All I had time for was a visit and grooming with Nikki. It was fine for her to have a day off, but I had been really looking forward to it. At least we had some snuggle time though and a nice grooming session (I'm sure that she went out and rolled after that!) Without time to lunge Suki I focused on caring for her skin. Her skin was not dry at all, after several consecutive days of moisturizing. Even the right side of her neck was not as dry. I was able to do a full face moisturizing right up to the tips of those cute little ears. The large area across Suki's back almost did not even take up any moisturizer.

While reading "The Circle of Fire" (Justina Page) last night, I realized something. I never refer to the hairless areas on Suki's body as scars. I don't know why, exactly. Is it denial? If I refer to them as scars, does that mean that I have accepted that hair will never grow? Ms. Page talks about loss, and how just the fact that she will never look the same is a type of loss. She says that she is "scarred and amputated". So is Suki. She is heavily scarred, and has lost the tips of her beautiful, tall mare's ears. And although people always say how wonderful she looks, the truth is, that she will never be the same. But of course I know that, and rarely have trouble looking past the scars. Sometimes I am sad for what might have been, but am excited about what we have accomplished and what is yet to come! That "loss" of Suki's original appearance is completely irrelevant, because her beautiful and joyful soul exists. With that loss, I have gained insight, and an appreciation for life and the precious gift that it is. I have become softer, and less cynical. Suki, of course, doesn't know that she looks different, and struts around the way she always has. People should be so lucky as to not have to deal with the emotional baggage of an altered physical appearance. Thursday, March 22: Nikki threw a shoe on Wednesday, and the farrier was not coming until later today....no ride today. Uggh! I desparately needed my Nikki fix! I love how the world melts away the moment I put my foot in the stirrup....Wednesday I worked late and it was a Tai Kwon Do night for Isaiah, so Suki did not have the usual spa treatment. Surprisingly her skin looked great tonight in spite of that, but she was a little itchy. She was naked in her stall while I made a quick repair to her special shell, then a full grooming/exfoliation/moisturizing. Tomorrow it's supposed to be quite warm, so I will pull off the fly sheet in the morning, leaving only the shell. The weekend promises rain, so there may not be a lot of outside time. Tomorrow afternoon I am taking off from work to do my first volunteer session at Shady Hollow for therapeutic riding. Looking forward to it! It will be a nice break from my very busy work week and a great opportunity to work with an amazing organization!