Frustration

Some days are certainly easier than others. While Suki's recovery has been nothing short of a miracle, some days I find myself wanting more. This week has been a difficult one for me. My husband was traveling from Monday to late Thursday, and by Monday evening my scratchy throat developed into an extremely painful sore throat accompanied by a fever. By Tuesday night I decided that I had not felt this bad since we had H1N1 in September 2009! The soles of my feet hurt when I walked. Fortunately Isaiah was sensitive to all of this and "took care of me", even offering to call 911 should I become nonresponsive! It is impossible to be nonfunctional with a 6 year old, 2 cats and a dog underfoot, but in the evenings I just shivered under an afghan on the couch. But, somehow we all made it through the week!
This picture made me smile though!

The weather has also been a bit crazy as well. Hot days followed by unsettled rainy and stormy nights make it difficult to time turnout. Some of the difficulties lie with managing the sheet situation. I don't think that Suki will ever be able to be turned out completely naked, although it has been tried in the past. I worry about sunburn, even on the darkened skin, and sunscreen seems to dry it out. The custom shell that was made for Suki last summer is really showing wear and tear. I have repaired it in a few places, and honestly, it is pretty amazing that it has even lasted this long. Perhaps I expected that by this time it would no longer be necessary and just a light fly sheet would work. Maybe that is where some of my frustration is coming from. Last night it wasn't supposed to rain very much but it did. The other nights, Suki had spent time in the run in off of her pasture, but last night she apparently had a party in the rain. Wearing only the shell (which I thought would be fine) she somehow managed to twist it and muck up the straps. The bandage remained intact so there was not any damage to the graft area, but I fear the shell is on its last legs. I may just have to bite the bullet and have another one made. The Wunderwear sheet that was fitted with a pocket is not quite the right size, so I am not confident about its effectiveness outside, over night. Tonight no rain is expected, so I am trying the shell again. With the heat and humidity still an issue at turnout time, adding a fly sheet was not an option. So fingers crossed! The thinner, mesh Saratoga fly sheet might be an option over the shell because it is very light weight but would probably be enough protection for it. The one that I have is too small so I will have to order a larger one.
But enough of the pity party! We will get through it because we are tough and strong! Suki's strength inspires me, and her zest for life is unmatched.
To me, this photo shows her intelligent, kind eye. I look into them and see the courage and stength that I wish I had,and do really try to demonstrate.

It seems so long ago when we left New Bolton, arriving at Kelly's farm fragile and broken. She made us whole again, and we left healed, with the courage to push on. Who thought we could come this far? Who knew that it would take such a tragedy to find the true meaning of friendship, courage and survival?

Soon it will be the 3 year anniversary of the fire, and we will once again, celebrate life. Lori and Vinny taught us that, and we will embrace it!