Reflections

By this time in Suki's recovery I started to think about what might have been. She and I had had some training bumps and bruises, but with her back feeling better our training was beginning to click again. As much as I knew that the outcome could have been much worse, and that I actually could have lost my beloved Suki, I sometimes encountered the "why did this happen to MY horse" feelings. Some of the boarders were complaining about losing all of their equipment, and having difficulties finding another suitable boarding facility. At times I just wanted scream at them "At least you have your horses and you are able to ride them!!" I never let this bitterness show, but it certainly festered beneath the surface. But I was still grateful to have my horse!

I read about a woman with a special needs cat. She said that she felt that the cat came into her life to make her a better person. Perhaps that is what is happening to me.... I already feel like Suki has taught me so much about bravery and survival!
There was also guilt associated with Suki being boarded at a rehabilitation farm. I often felt that I should be the one performing all of the care, and I always felt terrible when I couldn't make it to the farm to see her. Those feelings ultimately eased, because in my heart I knew that this was the best possible situation for Suki, and eventually she would be ready for a regular boarding situation.

I was also preparing to buy a 2 year old filly. Heather had a very nice baby that she said would be perfect for me, and I could make payments to buy her. She sold me Nikki for a very good price and I would bring her home in the spring. My history is that as one horse progresses I buy a young horse to bring along behind it. But this time there wouldn't be a mature horse that I would be riding. I would be waiting for Nikki to be old enough to start under saddle. But I was not ready to give up the hope that I would some day ride Suki again.

December 7, 2011
I leave for my conference tomorrow and Deb will take care of Suki. There really is not as much extra care as there used to be, but she still requires daily exfoliation, etc.
Suki was VERY cranky tonight! She has been in for two days due to rain, and will likely be in again tomorrow. Plus she has a new neighbor in the stall next to her so she is hard set on scaring him with mean faces. He appears to be completely unfazed, which really makes her angry!
I will try to post while I am away, but will probably only get to it 2-3 times. Next Wednesday I will be back to regular posting
PS This is one of my favorite pictures of me and Suki....Age 3 1/2, just 3 months under saddle!